Beautiful Mess
by Kae A
Summary: Their relationship is a beautiful mess. Arguments and tender moments swirled together. Set post-finale.
1. Chapter 1

**Beautiful Mess**

Chapter One

In hindsight this probably wasn't my greatest hour. I'm going to be grounded for life. I'm going to be suspended for an undefined amount of time. And I most probably will have destroyed my chances of getting in to Brown. But damn it feels good.

The cold winds nip at the bare skin of my legs. I fight to keep my dignity as my skirt is whipped in all directions. I don't know where we're going or how long it takes to get to and as uncomfortable as this is, I'm going to enjoy it.

The bike slows down and the engine cuts out. I pause for a second before taking off the helmet. I can see him staring through the shield. I tug the tight helmet off; I can now understand why sometimes he just doesn't bother. It is somewhat stifling. I shake out my hair, for all the good it will do, it feels flat against my head. His is the opposite. Left unprotected it is even more wild and unruly. I resist the urge the tame it with my fingers tips

I glance around at our surroundings. We're parked up on an ordinary looking street outside an ordinary looking house. Nothing big, nothing fancy but nice and respectable. Smaller houses, not like the ones found in my neighbours. God I sound so stuck up. There's nothing wrong with these houses. He's starting to look at me strangely, one eyebrow cocked and I realise my internal monologue on the surroundings has kept me quite for a good minute.

He climbs off the belt and takes the helmet from me. "I need to get out this uniform." With his free hand he rummages in his bag, eventually pulling out a set of keys. "You coming?"

My rebelliousness has slowed my reactions I swear. It takes me a moment to realise we must be sat outside his house. "This is where you live?" I sound ridiculous.

No, I just have keys to few select houses. I'm the bad boy remember?" He smirks at me, taking my hand and helping me off the bike. "What were you expecting? Some rundown studio apartment on the bad side of town?"

I can feel myself blushing so duck my head, creating a nice shield of hair while I compose myself. That is exactly what I'd be expecting. "Of course not." I lie, badly. "I just didn't expect this... I don't know what I expected…" I'm turning into a mumbling fool. "I guess I just never expected to see where you lived." I tell him honestly.

He shrugs like he always suspected the day he led me to his front door would come. He follows the slight cracked path to the front door and unlocks the faded blue door. I rest gently against his bike, drop my bag and start drumming my fingers on the seats.

"Well are you coming in or just going to hang around outside?"

I had assumed that I was just to wait for him but I grab my bag and wander up the path after him. He stands to one side, letting me enter first. This is awkward. More so than his first time through my front door. It was quite. There was no sign of life. Where were his parents? Did he have any brothers or sisters? The door clicks shut behind me and he slides past me. Only then I realise I'm still stood in the doorway.

I take a moment to glance around the living room. There's a flat screen television in the corner to my right with an Xbox next to and games and controllers strewn around. Angled towards the television in the centre is a large grey sofa; this is where he tosses his bag as he walks towards the room to my left. I edged towards the sofa and took a seat next to his bag. The usual collection of family photos hung on the wall. All of him with a older woman who's long dark hair matched his in a wild, curled manner. I assume it's his mom. A stereo system behind me has a collection of cds piled next to it and above it three shelves of records. Leaving my bag next to his, I go over to them, reaching up to flick through the careful. It's incredibly similar to my own collection, including what appears to be the complete back catalogue of Beatles albums.

"Here." I jump back, I hadn't heard him come back into the living room. He's smiling and holding a glass of orange juice. "It's the only thing we've got in at the moment."

"These yours?" I ask, taking the glass and motioning to the records.

"The cds are mine. The records are my mom's."

"Nice collection." I take a sip of my orange juice and glance awkwardly around. Things are never usually this uncomfortable between us. I'm wondering where his mom is now. And who he lives here with.

"She's at work right now." It's like he's reading my mind. He steps around me and goes to the second of the doors on the back wall, by a steep looking staircase. "I won't bother with a tour. Kitchen," he points to the room he just came from. "Living room. Up stairs is my mom's room and bathroom. And here," He opens the door next to him, "is my room." He steps inside, leaving me stood by the records. "I won't bite. You can come in."

I enter his room just as he's removing his shirt. The muscles in his back flex and ripple. He turns to face me for a moment before grabbing the black t-shirt that is lying on his bed. I avert my eyes, staring downwards at the crumpled white shirt on the floor. I am so thankful he changed into jeans before I'd entered. When I lift my eyes he just doing up his belt buckle.

"You wanna take that trip to the beach now?" He is sat on the edge of his bed, looking up at me with the dark eyes.

I look down at what I'm wearing. "This isn't really beach attire." Although admittedly it is not as bad as wearing a prom dress to the beach.

He chuckles slightly and gets up, "Let's get you home to change then." He half way to the door before I've taken in what he's said.

"Wait!" he stops and stares at me, utterly confused. "I can't go home. My dad will kill me."

"So is your long term plan to survive with nothing but a school uniform? Not that I'm complaining."

I reach to smack his cocked eyebrow face, I know he's joking but now isn't the time. Before I reach his face, he catches my wrist. "Calm down. My mom'll have something you can borrow." He disappears up the stairs before I can object.

This is awkward. Very awkward. You can't borrow clothes off some guy's mom, who you've never met. And when you have a somewhat complicated relationship with their son. Can you?

"Here." He's getting very good at appearing quietly behind me. He hands me a ball of black denim. "They're really old. I swear she never thrown out any clothes from her youth." I hold them up in front of me. Admittedly they are exactly the sort of thing I would wear. And they look like they would fit. "Would you like me to go the living room while you change?" he smirks at me.

"It's fine. I'll use your bathroom." He has a small ensuite bathroom. Just a toilet, sink and a shower cramped together. I close the door behind me but don't lock it. I wriggle my feet out of my boots and let me skirt drop to the floor. The jeans slide on easily. They fit perfectly around the waist; they're just a little short in the length. I yank my boots back on and once over the jeans you'd never know they weren't mine. I stuff my skirt into my bag followed by my tie and step back into his bedroom.

"Hmm…" that's not exactly the response I'd hope for. Not that I wanted any kind of response from him.

"Thanks. Way to make a girl feel good."

"It's the shirt."

"Sorry, but I have no plans on removing it."

He looks at me blankly for a second before going to his drawers on the back wall. He rummages around in the top one for a moment, pulling out various t-shirts before stuffing them back in. he pauses for a second, a shirt in hand then turns and throws it at me. "Put that on."

In my hand is an old, faded grey Filthy Souls t-shirts. I turn my back to him and unbutton the skirt. I can't tell if he's watching me a not but I drop the shirt quickly and waste no time in pulling the t-shirt over my head. It's obviously been shrunk in the wash, it fits me snugly. I pull out my hair from the collar and let it fall down my back. I turn back to him but he's not there. I grab my bag, stuffing the shirt in there too and head back to the living room.

He's resting against the sofa now. "Thought you'd want the privacy."

"Thanks."

"Beach then?"


	2. Chapter 2

_  
I'd like to thank everyone for taking their time out the read this first of all.  
I wasn't happy with the first part at all. I felt it was out of character and far too slow so it means alot that you read it.  
I'm still not 100% certain about the title but it's staying for now.  
I think this part is a little better. I'm aiming for this to be around 4 chapters long, just so you know.  
Thanks again!_

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**Beautiful Mess  
**Chapter 2

The ride to the beach didn't take that long on his bike. And it was a lot more comfortable now I was out of that god awful uniform. The heat was beginning to cool and there was a gentle breeze.

The bike jolted to a halt in the parking lot. It was empty except us and I could only spot a handful of people dotted on the long stretch of sand. He takes his helmet from me and we walk side by side in silence to the coastline. I follow as he walks down the coast line. I absent mindedly glance around, he looks straight ahead as though he's looking for something in particular.

We reach the end of the sand and are confront by a rocky out crop, jutting into the sea. I turn to head back towards the road, where the sand is. I get no more than half a step away before he grabs my hand.

"Where'd you think you're going?"

he doesn't give me chance to answer but pulls me back to the rocks and while still holding my hand starts to climb up the lowers rocks. I have no choice but to follow him. Before long I have to take back my hand just to help myself climb over the higher rocks. I'm feeling dangerously unbalanced with my bag pulling me down. He gets to the top before I do and disappears down the other side. I force myself to move faster to catch him up. I reach the top and brace myself for a long climb down. I'm surprised it's nowhere near as steep or rocky. And below me is a tiny area of sand by the water. Like a private beach. I careful manoeuvre myself down to where he is standing.

"Wow. I did not know this place existed."

"It's not exactly a secret." He grins at me. "Most people can never be bothered to climb the rocks over though. Makes it wonderfully private."

His wording makes me wonder if I'm the first girl he's brought here or just one of a great number. We sit down a few feet away from shoreline and I watch the waves lap the damp sand.

"So why did you follow me out? It wasn't just to return my bag to me." He's not looking at me as he speaks, just stares forward too. But I can sense the humour in his voice.

"I guess I just realised that although it'll majorly disappoint my dad, I have to do what I believe is right. Even if it means I'm risking my future."

"College really means that much to you?"

"Yeah. Doesn't it you?"

The look he gives me says everything. He's not interested in college. Or at least he isn't thinking about it yet. And then I realise it. I know very very little about it.

"Tell me something true."

"I'm not a cannibal." He chuckles and nudges me.

I smile back, "I had figured. I've seen you eat lunch" I pause for a moment, "so why do people find you so scary?"

"Same reason they probably find you scary. We're not like them."

That much is true. With the exception of Mandella and a few of the guys he hangs with, we're not like the other students. I haven't been like that for quite some time. And only in my old life.

"You really aren't as scary as they think you are." I say it really quietly, as thought I'm still thinking of the words as I say them. Then before I know it, I'm finishing the sentence with, "You have a heart. I've seen how guarded you can be with it though."

"What do you mean?" he turns his entire body in the sand to look directly at me. It's a strange look of confusion, one that seems to be saying, "_Don't go there, Kat_."

But I can't help myself. My mouth starts speaking before I have chance to stop it. "You were so protective over that key ring. It clearly means something to you..." I leave the sentence hanging idiotically like I expect him to explain the meaning behind it. A silence lingers for a second. I resist the urge to be cliché and say, "_If you want to talk about it, I'm here_."

"Yeah it does. And we're not talking about it." He turns back around and refuses to look at me while he speaks.

"That's cool…. But if you did…" Mouth before brain. Again.

"Can't you just drop it?" He stood, towering over me, he moved so quick I barely noticed. "I said I didn't want to talk about it." I have never seen him look this way before. I can finally understand exactly why people are terrified of him. "I don't know why I even brought you here." There's a flash of something other than anger in his eyes. In that brief moment I thought I saw sadness.

It's now my turn to stand and raise my voice. "Then why did you? Did you think we'd just have a repeat performance of the rooftop and make out? I'm not easy Patrick! And I sure as hell don't get a kick out of destroying my future. So tell me why am I here."

This once peaceful, hidden part of the beach has turned hostile. The breeze has picked up and the waves are starting to crashes wildly against the rocks.

"No one asked you to walk out of school."

I give up. I don't want to argue. I want to get off this beach before the waters strand us here. I turn and stomp off, dragging my bag along the sand. He's only a few steps behind me. And although I start to climb back over before him, he's soon ahead of me and down the other side. I wonder if he'll wait to see if I get over ok.

Disappointment crushes me as I see him walking away from the rocks. I hurry down as quickly as I can and run a little so I can storm off in front of him. I reach the road before him and head off in the direction of school.

"Where are you going?" He has to shout to me.

"I'm going to get my car."

"School is miles away. I'll give you a ride."

I turn on my heels, "No thanks. Wouldn't want you think I'm asking you." I snarl before turning my back to him.

"Kat don't be so stupid. School is miles away now get on the fucking bike." He actually screams at me. I swear anyone around is now looking at us. The anger makes me stop dead. However much I hate to, I have to admit he's right. It's miles away. I'm not completely sure of the way and it is starting to get dark. I sulk back, snatch the helmet from and sit behind him stubbornly. This is going to be our worst ride yet.

****

There are a few students milling around school after hours. Clearly they have nowhere better to go. But they're all watching us now as I thrush the helmet back to him, "Thanks for the ride.".

He doesn't ever reply. Just stares for a second before putting the helmet on himself and pulling away at great speed.

I sigh and walk the length of the parking lot to my car. I suddenly realise I have no idea how Bianca got home. I fish around in my incredibly jammed bag for my keys, pulling them out with a triumphant tug. I unlock her and throw my bag on the back seat. I'm temporarily paralysed with the thoughts of what happened today. Only 10 hours ago I walked into this building and everything was as it should be. Now I'm suspended with a lesser chance of attending my dream college. I'm going to be grounded for life. And I've ruined what little friendship we appear to have created. I can feel the tears welling up. This is the last place I want to break down. I take a deep breath to calm myself before turning the key and pulling out of the parking lot and heading home.


	3. Chapter 3

_Once again thank you for the feedback. I was happy with the end myself. It did more work. I think this part does too, it's been a while since I wrote anything.  
So please, bear with me. And I apologise for the total out of character-ness!  
Thanks for reading!_

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Chapter 3

I turn the key slowly in the lock and lean gently against the door, easily it open a little at a time. It isn't late. Hell it isn't even dark yet but I want to draw as little attention to myself as possible. Roughly translated; I don't want to run into Dad just yet.

"He's at work." A chipper voice from behind the door calls to me.

I straighten up and push the door open. Bianca is curled up on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn watching repeats of The Hills. Yes I know that show exists and sadly I know it's a repeat. "Does he…" I start making my way up the stairs.

"About you walking out of school and riding into the sunset with the, and I quote, deep-voiced man-boy hoodlum? Yes he does." She smiles her most radiant smile at me. "Principle Holland called. He told me to tell you he'd discuss this with you tomorrow, as he has to work late. If I were, I'd make the most of your last night of freedom." She quickly turned her attentions back to the dramatic real lives portrayed on the television.

Once in my room and throw my bag on the floor and root around for my mobile. I have a collection of missed calls and text messages from Mandella. Each text gets more and more desperate. She wants to know what happened between Patrick and me. I'm ashamed to admit it but I really hoped I would have some kind of message from him. I wanted to find a way to apologise to him. Some truth that would even the playing field. Something to make him see I'm not the perfect little girl I'm told I am.

I glance at my clock, it's a little past 7. I flop down on my bed and reach across my nightstand for my latest read.

****

There's a loud screech, like tyres breaking cutting through the peacefulness. My eyes flutter open. I realise where I am. The noise was in my dream. When did I fall asleep? My clock now reads 1.30. The dreams creeps back into my mind and I suddenly wanted to share it with him. Darkness has taken over my room. The only light is from my cell phone, glowing blue at the foot of my bed. I pick it up, not really expecting any changes to it. There's one more missed call. I must have been rally out of it to not hear it ring. I unlock it to see when Mandella last called me. Patrick. I rub my eyes. My phone is actually telling me I have a missed call from him. I scroll down to see when he called. Half an hour ago. He didn't leave a message though. I tiptoe to my bedroom door and sit my neck out. Everything is deathly silent. I creep downstairs. Dad's keys are in their place by the door. I wonder when he came home. I must be insane. This could wait until tomorrow. I don't even know if he'd be still be awake. I grab my car keys and pray I don't get caught.

I could barely remember my way there. It took me twice as long but I eventually pulled up down the street from his house. It stood still in the darkness. His bike parked just outside. What did I do now? There was no sign of life. I took a deep breath. It seemed like the right thing to do. Like the sudden intake of air would fill me with confidence. Self-consciously I walked to the front of the house. Knocking was a bad idea. I cupped my hands around my face and peered in the living room. Shadows loomed over the furniture. But at the back, behind the sofa I could see the smallest, faintest sliver of light creeping out under a door way.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I'm wandering around the side of the house. There is a faint rectangle glow on his back lawn. As I reach the window I hear a dull familiar beat playing softly. I reach to tap on the window but my hand pauses for a second. I realise how ridiculous this is. With my back pressed up against the outside wall I slump to ground. With my head resting in my hands and my elbows on my kneed I being to relax, the gentle beat keeping my company. I didn't need to do this tonight. I should have waited to do this tomorrow. Once Dad had left for work. I could have easily 'overslept' and come out before I had been officially grounded. I'm about to pick myself up when my phone starting ringing in my pocket. "Shit!" I curse to myself as I fumble around trying to stop the noise. I press any and every button frantically as I try to stop it and as I'm doing so I can hear movement near the window. I grasp the phone to my chest trying to dispel the light and hold my breath. The window slides effortless open and he glances around for a moment. Just as he disappears, I sigh unable to hold my breath a moment longer. It was an idiotic move; he emerges once more and looks right at me.

There's a horrible awkward moment of silence. Embarrassment on my part and surprise on his, it renders us both speechless.

"What are you doing here?" he whispers, looking briefly up and around to see if we've disturbed anyone else.

"I got your missed call." I sound and look unbelievably lame curled up by his window.

"And you couldn't just have waited till morning to call back?"

I take this moment to look at phone, simply with the intention of checking the time. It's then that I see the person who caused my phone to wake the neighbours was him.

"Apparently not." I held out my phone to him, showing the message he'd sent me.

"I don't recall inviting you over. It just says I'll call you in the morning." He crosses his arms defensively.

"You going to invite me in or shall we do this over the window ledge all night?" I was getting cramp and it was starting to get cold so I didn't care about being rude now. It was like he hadn't done this.

He stepped aside and held a hand out for me, helping me climb through his small window. A lamp by the door was casting a pale blue-grey hue over the room, matching the ash coloured décor perfectly. Silence fell down on us again.

"Why did you ring me?" I wanted to break the tension.

"Why did you come over?" he wasn't helping. And the fact he was only wearing jeans was creating even more of distraction.

I could play the stubborn bitch role I've perfected over the years with a reply such as "I asked first." And draw this painful process out even further. But I decide to take the higher ground and get this over with.

"We need to talk… I need to talk. I should never have brought the key ring up again." He's about to interrupt me, no doubt to tall me to drop it again. "I'm not mentioning it again. It's done." I cut him off. "I wanted to try and create a clean slate."

"This could have waited Kat." He sat on the bed, leaning back against the dark headboard with its collection of pillows propped against it.

"It could. But I had a dream. Actually it's a dream I've been having for a while now. And once I woke up I just had the urge to tell you about it."

"A dream? Am I in it?" He smirks. He's not going to make this easy.

"Do you want to here this or not? It'll help my conscious. I think it'll help with clearing the air." He shrugs and motions for me to continue. "In the dream, I'm driving. Incredibly fast. In this shiny new car. I don't know what it is. And all my old friends are there from Ohio. I'm laughing the entire time. We're racing through quiet winding streets like we're in some car advert. It's a blast." He's eyeing me up, wanting to know if it's leading somewhere. "All of a sudden a shape steps out in front of me and I have to slam on the breaks. The laughter stops and I always wake to the sound of the brakes screeching to a halt." I'd never told anyone about this dream before. Only Bianca.

"That's it? That'll helps us?" He looks puzzled.

"I thought if you knew something true about me. It would help."

"Bringing up something personal to me and one of your nightmares is not the same." He sounds pissed, disgusted at how I even dare suggest the two are similar.

"Let me explain. It's not entirely a dream. That was my life. Before I moved here." His eyes narrow and burn into me. I was committed to explaining all this now. "After my mom died and once I started high school, I went off the rails a little. I was one of the popular kids, and we hung out with some of the older students. One day, when we were bunking off, one of the guys, I think he was a sophomore, thought it'd be a good idea to take one of the cars for a ride. So we piled in the back, about 5 of us with two up front. A couple of us had had a drink and were giggling like crazy in the back." He's looking more and more angry with me. This is not what I wanted. "Next thing I know we've been pulled over by the cops. We're dragged down to the station, all our parents are called. Luckily, being a minor and just a passenger, a lot of us me included just got cautioned. After that I distanced myself from them, refused to do what other people were doing. I basically became me. That's my truth." I waited with baited breath for him to reply. Or at least for his facial expression to soften. I wanted him to understand I wasn't perfect and there were parts of me I didn't want everyone to know but that I wanted him to know.

"I think you should go."

"What? Patrick, did you hear that? I'm trying to be honest and truthful with you."

"I appreciate that Kat, I really do but I really think you should go." He slide off the bed and stood by the window, waiting.

"No wait. Let's talk about this. Was it something I said?" he was right on the beach, I should really learn to let things go when he asks but I couldn't help myself.

"Seriously Kat. Go." He was unforgiving. Stone cold.

So I take my leave. I drag myself back through his window. I turn and we momentarily stare into each other's eyes. There's something there again. A flash of something other than what I'm seeing. But it passes as he closes the drapes, drowning me in darkness.


	4. Chapter 4

_Once again I want to say thanks for all the reviews and alerts you are all leaving.  
I'm positive that Patrick is occ in this one. The edge is lost. But I'm gonna bring that back in the next part.  
_

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Chapter 4

I am officially grounded. For a month. Twice as long as my school suspension. Dad finally caught up with me this morning as I quietly ate breakfast. There was no shouting. No lectures. Just long disappointed stares at me before finally handing me my punishment. Oh and I was banned from seeing Patrick. No worries there. He hasn't called again and I have called him. As incredibly tempting as it has been. But I've opted for giving him space. In fact he's getting at least two weeks worth.

****

Twenty-four hours have passed. I have nothing to show for my time spent in doors other than a now complete pile of homework. I have flicked through every television channel four times over and read at least five chapters of my book. I've had no phone calls. Or texts. I'm in limbo. I shall be glad when this weekend is over.

****

Despite my desperate desire for the weekend to be over I realise that was a fruitless dream. The next two weeks are going to be like one long weekend. The hours of the day drag by and before long I notice I've spent a good portion of my day staring at my cell. Willing it to ring. It never does.

Friday night haunts me. I can't get that final look in his eyes out of my head. I go over and over it trying to figure out what it was. There was anger definitely. Sadness maybe? Disgust? Hurt? Something that very rarely showed.

As promised, Mandella calls me at 4.30 to fill me in on any homework assignments I need to do. And more importantly any gossip or rumours going around about me.

"So how bad are they?" I wait, ready to cringe. These are going to be bad.

"Rather lame actually. He kidnapped you and is holding you hostage…. You're both cannibals now. I don't know how that one even came up. And the most common is you're having a secret forbidden love affair and have eloped. I think that's my favourite."

I sigh with relief. Nothing I can't handle when I get back, although it'll all have blown over by then. Hopefully. "Thanks Mandella…"

"What is it?"

"It's nothing."

"I can hear the asking tone in your voice Kat. What do you want to know?"

I bite my lip, how do I ask this without sounding totally obsessed with him? "Do you know anything about Patrick? Other than the rumours?" I know she's going to read too much into this. She's going to assume I _like_ him. Which I don't. I don't.

I can almost hear her rolling her eyes, like she knew this was coming. I didn't know, how did she? "Nothing really. Wasn't too dissimilar to how he is now to how he was in freshman year. Then he just vanished. He was away for the pretty much the whole of sophomore year. That when the rumours started."

"Is there any truth in any of them?"

"Why the questions on Verona?"

"Humour me, I'm curious."

She sighs heavily down the phone while she thinks. "One I guess. I heard something once about his dad. Horrible rumour. Heard he ran out on his family. Just up and left, decided he didn't love him and his mom anymore. I don't know which sick kid came up with it but it's the only one that _might _be true. No one has ever seen his dad."

"Thanks. Ring me tomorrow? Keep me up dated?"

"Well of course. And Kat? Be careful, you know, just in case." She hangs up before I can add anything further.

I spread my books out across my bed, trying to figure out where to start on the one project I have so far. It's not like I need to rush, I have two weeks. The words blur together as the various rumours run through my mind. Dad will be home any moment so I can't sneak out. I grab my phone and go to my list of last dialled numbers. It eventually starts to ring. One ring. Two rings. Three rings.

"You know what to do." _Beep!_

I should have known he wouldn't answer his phone to me. "Patrick, it's Kat. We need to talk. Please call me." I sound desperate. And he probably loves that I sound that way. That he's made me desperate.

****

The evening passes me by slowly. I watch mindless television. Embarrassingly I am starting to understand how Bianca is addicted to these shows. Dad is watching my every move and I start counting the minutes before I can feasibly say I'm tired and go to my room. I settle on nine thirty. It sounds like a reasonable time.

The minutes creep slowly by and by the time it reaches my chosen bedtime I'm near enough asleep anyway. I drag myself up the stairs, opting to get a quick shower before I sleep. I strip off leaving my clothes in a pile by the door. I let the warm water wash away my worries and I emerge clean and relaxed. Once in my room I slip into my pyjamas, a tank top and a pair of flannel pants and wrap my hair up in the towel.

Up here in my room with my records playing softly, a book in my hand and curled up under my blankets, I can forget all the shit that's going off right now. My mind can happily drift off.

Next thing I know its pitch black in my room. When did I turn the light out? And why is my book on the floor? I glance at my bedside clock. 1.30am. Again? I'm developing a sleeping problem. I reach for might lamp, sending the room into a warm orange glow. It's then I notice the figure stood outside my bedroom window.

This is becoming a bad habit for us. Hanging around outside each other's windows in the early hours of the morning. I want to tell him this. Any lighthearted comment to break the ice but it's not the right time.

I tip toe to my window and slide it open. We simply stare at each other for a second before I step back and wordlessly let him enter. I take a seat on the edge of my bed while he pulls up my chair. We are sat centimetres apart.

"Listen, about last night…."

"Kat, don't. Just give me a moment." This is a side of him I've not seen before. It's not scary but it's intense. There's anger but not directed at me. There's pain and vulnerability. Then I realise that it is this side of him that has been showing up in flashes.

We sit in silence for a while. He concentrates on my bedroom while I can't help but watch him.

"Patrick," I rest my hands gently on his knees. He jumps up a little but I don't know who's more shocked; him that I'm touching him or me that I did it voluntarily. "If you don't want to talk about, that's cool. Can we just go back to how things were?" The arguing and the fighting is better than this silence treatment. Hell even I'd even take a lifetime of flirting and kissing him over this."_God help me I want kiss him._" I quickly shake that thought from my head.

"If I don't explain myself then this," he gestures between us, "whatever this is, can't go any further."

My heart flutters. I hate being this girly but he just acknowledged that there's something between. I wasn't looking for anything, or necessarily wanted anything but knowing there's a chance… well my heart goes into overdrive, making up for lost time I guess.

"One of the rumours I heard once, one of the crueller ones. While it's not exactly true, the reason behind it is." He was still looking at the floor. As scary as the other Patrick one, the one without walls, the one sat in front of my now was scarier. This one, I couldn't predict. Yet I knew exactly which rumour he was talking about. His Dad.

"Seriously, Patrick. You don't have to do this." I wanted to force him to look at me but I kept my hands firmly placed on his knees, it some how felt safer.

"No one has ever seen my Dad." He continued like he hadn't heard me. "I have since I was 14. And it's not because he ran away. He died, in a car accident." His voice was barely a whisper with a bitingly sad edge to it. "He'd been out of town on business for a couple of weeks. He was on his way home; my 15th birthday was only a couple of days away. Some frat boy drove right in the driver's side of my Dad's car. He didn't stand a chance."

My heart sank for me, "I'm so sorry."

"The guy driving had been on his way to a fraternity party with a group of his brothers. They'd all been drinking. Driver was one and a half times over the limit."

Then it hit me. The reason why he'd gotten so closed up last night. My history was all too similar to his. It was painful close. I'd always assumed I'd had a lucky escape, that that one moment of stupidity and getting caution was bad enough. But now I realised it could have been much much worse.

"If I'd known, I would never have said anything. I am so so sorry."

He finally lifts his head to look at me. I can't work out this there are tears in his eyes. "It's ok. It wasn't you." He shrugs. "I guess I kind of over reacted. I just never expected that from you." He shifts hands form the armrests of my chair to rest gently on top of mine.

The electricity flowing through us renders me speechless for a second. "That's not me anymore. That _was _me." It's the truth, and I hope he believes.

He eyes drop briefly to my right, I look over my shoulder. It's 2.30am. "I should go." He rises quickly from his seat and I'm all too aware of the heat vanishing from my hands. All I can do it nod. He climbs swiftly out of my window and is at the bottom of the trellis before I get to the window. I watch as he starts his motorbike with a second look and rides away along the moonlit street.


	5. Chapter 5

_I think this shall be the final chapter. The drama has been dealt with this is just tying things up.  
Who knows, if I can come up with a decent idea, I might write a sequel.  
Thanks for all the reviews you've given. And if anyone wants to make comments about how I can improve, it'd be greatly appreciated!  
__Thanks for reading, hope you've enjoyed!_

* * *

Chapter 5

My two week suspension passes me by slowly. I stay up to date on all my reading, assignments and gossip thanks to Mandella's nightly phone calls.

I drive into the parking lot and swing in the nearest available space. I've barely stopped as Bianca is hot tailing it out the car. "Hey, what's the hurry?"

She leans into my window, looking around nervously. "I'm a cheerleader now; I can't be seen with the school deviant. It will not help my reputation."

"Bianca, everyone knows I'm your sister."

"Better to be safe than sorry as Dad always says." And with that a blur of red and yellow bounced away from my window. She'll be all for acknowledging me when it comes to getting a ride home.

I stride into school. Despite Bianca's feelings towards my presence, I'm not going to shy away. I'm the reason these kids aren't in uniforms right now. Or at least I'm part the reason. As I head towards the main doors I'm happy to see that the metal detectors were gone. "_Poor Dick will have to terrorise some other school._" I think smugly to myself.

From then onwards everything just happens as normal. Mandella is waiting for me in out first class and we spend the rest of the silent judging the miscreants that attend Padua High. I am still being greeted with the odd "Save the naked moles rats!" cheer too.

Patrick keeps his distance from me at all times. The restraining order is officially in place. I swear I feel his eyes burning into my back several times during the day yet whenever I spin right to check, he's gone. Like he was never there as all. And despite our lockers being just feet apart he manages to avoid me completely.

The end of the day bell does not come soon enough. I reach my car before Bianca, like I always do. I throw my bag in the backseat and fiddle with the stereo for a moment, trying to find a cd to put in. with the music successful changed, I look up to glance around for any signs of my blonde cheerleading sister. Instead my eyes end up locking with his across the parking lot. This is as much interaction as we have had all day. I deliberate going over to speak to him and I swear he's thinking of getting off his bike and coming over to me. But the moment passes us by and he puts on his helmet and speeds past my car and out of the parking lot.

"Okay enough with the teenaged angst, let's drive." Bianca has appeared at my side. I never even heard her get in the car. How long had she been sat there?

*****

The week continued in a similar fashion. The rumours died down and no one was chanting about naked mole rats by Friday last period. Bianca has some cheerleader thing happening tonight so I get to leave the second the bell rings. I push my way through the crowds of teenagers and make a dash to my car. I know that Dad isn't going to be home until late so I decide to make the most of my free time and give myself a break from being grounded. I desperately need to go to the library. I'm pretty certain Dad won't be pissed with me going even if I do get caught. Which I won't.

I'm just pulling up to the library when my phone starts ringing. I dig it out of bag and answer without looking who's calling. "Hello?"

"Can we meet?"

I'm only half paying attention as I try to gather up my belongings to exit the car, "I'm sorry, who is this?" I'm politer when I'm distracted.

"Kat…?"

Then I realise who it is. Only one person says my name that slowly and low. "Patrick?!"

"Can we meet?" He repeats.

****

The wind whips my hair wildly in front of my eyes. it's an unusually cool day. I lock my car doors, wrap my jacket tight around me and head off in the direction of our arranged meeting place.

"You picked an excellent day to meet." Our eyes meet as I walked over to him. He just shrugged. I dropped down beside him. The sand was slightly damp but I didn't care. "So… why'd you want to meet?"

"You know you aren't the first girl I've brought here."

It struck me as an incredibly weird and oddly spiteful thing to say, "Gee thanks."

"Listen, I'm not good with words. Messages get mixed up and I ended up fucking things alright." I think that was meant to be an apology, but it was hard to tell. "You ain't the first girl I've brought here 'cause this place isn't special. It's just private."

"Oh lovely. so we're back to you just wanting this to be a random hook up. You're such an ass Verona." I start rising to my feet, "I don't know why I came here."

He's on his feet just moments after me and grabs my wrist to stop me leaving. "I've told you before but I'll tell you again, you talk too much." He leans towards me.

I take a step back. We've been here before and it did not end well. "And you don't talk enough Patrick. I made it perfectly clearly I'm not gonna be your 'girl of the week'."

"See, you're just misunderstanding things again." He sighs and runs his hands through his hair, clearly frustrated.

"Then explains things to me. Make it simple. Pretend I am one of your bimbos. What do you want to tell me?" I feel as frustrated as he looks.

His fists keep clenching at his side as he stares at the sand, obviously going over the words he wants to say in his head. "You're the only girl I've brought here without an ulterior motive." He seems to struggle to find the right words. "I wasn't intending for it to go any further. With you I just thought it'd be a nice place to hang out. Clearly I was mistaken, this place only leads to fights with you."

Have I been mistaken this entire time? Was it just friendship he wanted all along? I drop my eyes and look at my scuffed toes of my boots. I feel as though a weight should be lifted now I finally know where I stand yet I've never felt more crushed. I actually start laughing to myself. I can't believe how stupid I've been.

"I have to go. Us… This… Whatever… it's not what I thought it was." I managed to say between chuckles stepping slowly backwards.

Once I'm a safe distance away I turn, still smiling to myself but shaking my head. I can hear him grumbling to himself, clearing still frustrated. Maybe in a week or so things will go back to how they were, the tension, whatever kind of tension it may have been, sexual or other, will hopefully have vanished. I can get over my crush. It was just a crush. I was simply infatuated with the rebellious act of getting suspended and it got projected on to him. This is totally get-over-able.

The wind carries the sound so the shout comes faintly to me. "I like you alright?" I almost don't hear it. I have to turn around just to check he is still there and it is him calling to me.

He's walking slowly towards me. "You're a bitch. You're violent. And incredibly stubborn. But you're interesting. And smart. And sexy. And although you drive me crazy, I like you." By the time he finishes, we're barely an inch apart.

"I'm sorry? You what?" Not many things leave me speechless.

"You heard me." His trademark smirk is back and there's a naughty glint in his eye. I know what is coming.

Our mouths meet, gently parting at first, the tension building quickly. Before I realise what is happening my fingers are wrapped in his unruly hair. And his fingertips are leaving sparks across my back where his hands have dipped under my jacket. I barely feel the cold sea air around us.

We eventually part for air. I'm left with that same giddy feeling I had on the rooftop. He is still smirking at me. There's a thousand questions and thoughts running through my mind. But one stands out.

"What happens now?"

He smiles and catches me in another kiss.


	6. Thanks!

I'd like to thank everyone for reading this fic! It is now finished.

I've recently written **Interesting Different **which is post here at . It's a 100 word drabble that follows on from this.

Also coming soon is** Redefining**. It's a short sequel, either one or two parts, picking up exactly where **Beautiful Mess **finished.

And very soon I'll have another full length sequel called **Broken Paths**. It'll probably be a similar length to the first.

So please keep reading and keep your eyes out for the new ones!

Thanks again!


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